learning, learning, learning...

I'm in school. Whoa. I have so much to write about and my energy is non-existent. I took a class this weekend about self esteem. During the class, the instructor talked about learning new things and how it changes our brains. When we are learning new things our brains make new mylon (how do I spell that?) sheath and that is hard work. Thus the exhaustion. So, all that said, I will attempt to write more. I want to write every day or two. I'm sure I will again have some kind of energy that can be devoted to something that doesn't look like school work. Peace.

seven years...

Seven years ago today my dad's spirit took flight.

I got the call at about 6 a.m. He was gone. As I called into work to report what I knew would be several days of absence, I began to shake. Not because he was gone really. More because I knew what I would be walking into when I arrived at my parent's home.

He was still in his chair. It looked like he was sleeping. My mom had just woken up and my aunts were telling her he was gone. He'd waited until she went to bed before he left. She was not amused.

I can still see the image of her kneeling next to his chair; her head against his; talking quietly to him. If I were an artist, I would draw it so others could see the tenderness I saw.

It was just about the only beautiful moment of the whole experience.

My family began arriving and anyone who knows them knows it wasn't a good thing. Ah well, many years have passed since then and my mom is gone too. I don't miss him. I just remember.

There is a new song by R.ascal F.latts called "Chang.ed". It has gotten me thinking alot about that time seven years ago and I want to write about it. I hope I will. But not today.

Peace.

one more time with feeling...

Seven years ago today I began blogging for the first time.

I had just come from my parent's home and watched my dad behave as a little boy unable to zip his jacket by himself. We'd been told he had weeks to live.

It turned out to be 5 more days.

I loved blogging. I loved the writing. The connecting with others. The process. The encouragement and friendships. I loved it all. I've tried to begin again several times with little success.

Now, today, my first day of college, I'm hopeful I will have reason or energy even to get it all down. We shall see.

Onward and upward.